Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Sunday, March 18, 2012

A Lion in the Storm

This blog is called On My Mind. Today's post is not the usual story starter or writing tip. This was written while trying to grasp what happened that day. It has meaning beyond meaning to me.

The rain began slowly at first, falling gently in the morning.  I carried you both on our journey home. I held you close, as close as possible, and kept you dry.  I let you know how much I loved you and promised that I would keep you safe.  As the day progressed, the rain got heavier and everything changed.  The wind blew stronger and stronger until it became difficult to carry you but I would not let you down.  She thought she was ready to go or maybe it was something else compelling her to go but it wasn’t my idea.  I could see our blurry house in the distance but the storm was too heavy to get there.  I ran into the nearest building.  We huddled to stay warm.  The wind whistled as the storm shook the walls and the door opened, just a little at first, but continued to swing wider as the rain and wind steadily increased.  Holding on to you as tightly as I could, I tried to force the door closed but the wind picked up. It forced the door open and slammed me against the wall.  The air swelled into a hurricane and its pull ripped us apart.  I lost control of keeping you safe.  I was forced to let go.  The winds carried her, my baby girl, through the doorway.  I grabbed for her but she was swept too quickly out of reach.  We had to let her go but you weren’t ready.  You wrapped yourself around me.  I begged Mother Nature to let you stay.  You held on but the grip of the wind was too tight.  It wrapped us like a tornado, twisting, turning, and separating us. It refused to let you go.  The torrential downpour whipped across my face as it tore you from me.  I wasn’t ready.  You were too small to survive alone, but you found her, your sister, and stayed together.  You both struggled to live without me.  When the weather calmed, I found you battered and bruised.  I sat beside you both and held your hands.  I looked into your eyes and spoke softly. Your sister left us first but you continued to hang on.  Then you left us.  It was too soon.  You left me too soon.  Our dreams were shattered.  That day is here again and I can’t shake the memory of the storm, of losing you both, my babies. I remember the few moments that we had when I was able to look into your eyes and hold your tiny hands.  A lion in the storm.  Soo strong.   In my arms for just a moment but in my heart forever.

If you have ever lost a lion in the storm. I am very sorry for your loss.